Rule 3: Stick your paws in--if they are still moist, then they're not dead.

Sniff the soil. Are there mouldy flies zipping around in its muddy clots? Watch for hours and days on end to see what you can discover--Are there potatoes or twiddle-bug family jewels buried on site?

Are there aphids?

Scratch off a leaf. Bat it around on the wooden floor with your partner. When you skid along the corridor, can you pick it up with your feet and dangle it above your mouth?

Shake it vigorously between your teeth.

Climb up the stem. Take a running start and sink your nails in deep, chew your way up to its delicate green canopy. Scout from the canopy top and peer into a new world at great height.

Propel yourself off the top. Clumsy but confident, fleeing the hairy monster that will PUNISH you for meddling with the indoor vegetation.

DAMMIT! they‘re in the plants again!
STARING FOR HOURS. pulling off leaves…
CLIMBING! I think the ficus are dead
THE FICUS! are they dead?

stick your paws in. if they are moist, then they’re not dead.

Fuzzy childhood memories are all Mom's fault

Last month, i picked on my mother in an email, revealing her to be the worst photographer in the history of my family, and possibly even the world. i did this in a joking manner, recalling the parental collection of baby pictures, and how all of them look like they were taken in a world submerged in vaseline. all our holiday photos are marred with strange flashing blots, and even in Cape Cod, she was convinced the hotel was haunted because there were filmy shapes snaked across the whole roll of photos.

call ghostbusters! its mary jean in Baawston!

anyhoo, she responded to my email with a snippy 'well i'm sorry i ruined your childhood with bad pictures, just another thing i did wrong raising you, add it to the list.' type sniffity sniff. and i was hEYYYY, ixnay on the ostilityhay! i even offered to buy her a digital for christmas to possibly cure the problem--no gratitude!

it seems she is now out to prove a point. in a deadly mixture of shopping channel overdose and autumn fever, mary jean has clearly been busy these past few weeks honing her artistic photo skils in the garden. just today i got an email from my brother saying:

Here's the pics mom wanted you to see. Here are some old purses, as well as her freshly weeded garden. More to come...

And attached to the email are... well... I'll let you see. THey're posted below.

The next items up for bid are a really sweet pair of straw haaandbaags...

the bags are both Vintage, which is so IN for this SPring.

only 19.99 if you call now...

Just a little finale to show the diverse skill portfolio--she can do landscapes as well as product shots!

ANd now we're back to my life. The illegal masterpiece I worked up for Jane's birthday last week. Starting to really get into this cake sculpture stuff...